Old words
2 min read

Old words

Old words

I've been building a list of old and rare words, such beauties like spuddle, puckfist and gigglemug.

They possess such charm and pinpoint everyday experiences so accurately, that I it sad they are no longer in use.

I've also noticed of late that many of these words appear tailor made for the modern office environment.

So, to celebrate the death of office work, aka 'new normal', I've written the below story for absolutely no reason whatsoever, aside from allowing me to use these words for once (I seldom play Scrabble which as far as I know is the only other use for this hobby of mine).

Although one reason could be to say this: it's good to write things for no reason sometimes (although you don't always have to publish it...)

P.S. I'm not weird, you are.

A story using words we should use more often, maybe

I was sitting in a meeting room surrounded by colleagues. Here we go again.

We all glumly watched another quisquilous[1] presentation, presented by a puckfisted[2] manager who made sure no single bullet point on his slideshow, of which there were many, lacked superlation.[3]

Time ticked-tocked onwards. The slides ticked-tocked onwards. We were all trapped in a kind of flenched[4] pergatory, the slides kept sliding along.

"Any questions?", he finally asked. Almost free, I thought, mistakenly.

Three of them put their hands up. Each one a gigglemug,[5] always cheerful, always with a question. Often the same question.

But then, from the other corner of the room, came a grumble.

That old smellfungus,[6] sitting there sneering, a breedbate[7] brimming with cankeredness.[8] The biggest spuddler[9] I know, too.

The gigglemugs rogitated, then suddenly she stepped in the room: "Free drinks for all!" thunderplumped[10] our flahoolicky[11] boss.

There was, in the end, something to celebrate.

  1. 'Worthless' or 'trivial'; an obscure way to describe something as rubbish. ↩︎

  2. A blustering boaster or braggart ↩︎

  3. Exaggeration, hyperbole, aggrandizement; an instance of this ↩︎

  4. A Scots word to describe weather that looks like it's going to improve but never really does ↩︎

  5. One who is perpetually and annoyingly cheery and only adds to your bad mood ↩︎

  6. A habitual grumbler who will find fault in anything and everything ↩︎

  7. One who is always looking for an argument ↩︎

  8. Malice, spite; bad temper ↩︎

  9. To work ineffectively; to be extremely busy whilst achieving absolutely nothing ↩︎

  10. A heavy, thundery shower that seems to come from nowhere and soaks you in seconds ↩︎

  11. Free with money, generous, full of largesse, an exuberant spender. From Irish Gaelic for "very generous". ↩︎

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